Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Check Main Page For Lay Offs News

The Cal is getting hit with Lay Offs

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election Madness

The Good
The LA Times swooped into Southwest Riv County and outperformed all other papers in the election arena. David Kelley took a look at the strong conservative and Republican push in Temecula and Murrieta as compared to the rest of California. (you could make the case that those in southwest still don't get it) As someone who drives through both towns and was tired of the traffic caused by Prop. 8 supporters I found the story interesting.

The Not-So-Bad
The PE tried something new this year and quite frankly I thought it was better than what most papers do. It's impossible for reporters to know who is going to win the local seats because the ballots are never counted in time. So the PE did a quick snapshot of the races.

The Bad
I can't blame the Cal reporters. I'm sure it is not their choice to write 10 to 12 inch articles on elections where about 5 precincts have been counted. Nelsy Rodriguez did a story based on ten percent of the polls. Pretty damn ridiculous. Although is anything going to really change even though 90 percent of the votes haven't been counted.
At least she didn't do what Nicole Sack did and basically call the race at 8:30 p.m. Tuesday night. I am kind of hoping one of her "winners" gets knocked out. DON'T CALL A RACE IF THERE ARE STILL MORE THAN HALF VOTES STILL FLOATING AROUND AND THE DIFFERENCE IS LESS THAN A THOUSAND VOTES

Murder update

All three papers who covered the double homicide in French Valley all had updates when four Marines were arrested.
Let's dissect each one. Oh wait. They all read the same.

Tammy McCoy had a snafu in her lede calling the French Valley home near Temecula. It's more closely located to Murrieta. Also the PE put the news up on their Web site, but it was with an AP story. That to me is kind of shameful.

The Valley News continued their coverage with an Internet update. The story read similar to Ms. McCoy's, which is a plus for the Valley News. How does a weekly keep up with the big papers? Use the internet.

The Cal gets the award for best double homicide story. While nothing was really new in John Hall's story the Cal website had the information up first and Hall actually got quotes from a person. I can see how the Valley News might have trouble getting the ins with these investigators but how come the PE can't reach a live person. So what you want about Mr. Hall but the guy has great sourcing.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween

Cathy Redfern showed off her chops this morning with a good story about two burglars getting arrested. This is how local crime stories should be done and I couldn't stop reading. PE cop reporter for southwest could learn a few tricks here.

Dave Downey did a good job with the water rationing issue.

At the PE, John Asbury picked up on the story of the Temecula dad who stuffed his daughter in a freezer...allegedly.

And Sandra Stokley followed LA Times amazing piece on the Changeling history including information about a serial murderer living in Mira Loma. Stokley rehashes some of the Times story but she does go into more depth about the property and even talks to owners of it. A good read for Halloween.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Good:
No actual stories here but just the fact that the PE had 4 and a half stories about the area. Wow. What's the half? GO see the terribly bad section.
Meanwhile the Cal had more than 6. Then again do haunted houses, trees and audio shortages count as real news?


The Bad:
Really. This is what passes for news these days. Nicole Sack wrote about conspiracy theorists complaining about technical problems during comment periods of the City Council. I know this was talked about previously but that was a blurb. This is a story. Good grief Charlie Brown.

The Really Terribly Bad:
Jeff Horseman take a bow. The PE did the same story. On this same uselessness. With the same conspiracy nuts. Tomorrow's Headline: Temecula City Officials actually sunk the Titanic. Temecula City Officials staged the moon landing. Hey local papers PLEASE write about something of interest.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Wednesday Hump Day

John Hall did something on Rod Pacheco’s new publicity stunt. Where was the PE? Who knows but I get the sense the PE likes to stick it to Mr. Pacheco when they can. Our DA is spending more money to go out of state to track down sex crime violators, I can think of better ways to spend that money.

Nelsy Rodriguez had a good run but now she is back to scraping for stories. Her latest one is about an ethics presentation to city officials. Ms. Rodriguez every city does this and Murrieta is no exception. There is no news here.

I would talk about Aaron Claverie's tree story but it pains me to even give it any attention at all.

By the way, what is this blurb on the Web site about? Honestly, can someone explain why this even deserved news consideration.



Now on to the PE

Not a bad little read news obit on an inland man who died in a helicopter crash. I wasn’t real interested but I kept reading. Great details and a tragic story. His wife was murdered 11 years ago. Thanks Mr. Asbury.

Congratulations to Gene Ghiotto who wrote from an Inland perspective about this numbskull cop who shot a person interested in a foot chase. It’s about time cops get nerf guns.

By The Way did you notice the lack of southwest news in the review. Because there was none. Unless you count a band feature news.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Good:
Nelsy Rodriguez had a nice week going back a few days. This story is a little old but it's worth mentioning as good reporting. It obviously touched a nerve in the city because 127 people have commented. It's about police and fire using city stationary to endorse candidates. The PE came back at this a day later. Uh Oh. Naughty COPS.

The Not so Good: Aaron you have written some good stuff. This is definitely not one of them. The story reads like it's pandering to the Elsinore Mayor. Returning a check for $500 worth a story? Not in my household. Well I take that back. Giving my family a check for $500 would be worth a freaking ode. So this story is the NOT SO GOOD.


The Head Scratcher: Michelle Klampe why do you think this is worthy of a story? Why should anyone care about a school district putting more flyers online? Where have all the editors gone in this bureau.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Anatomy of breaking news in southwest.


A double homicide happened Wednesday. I watched it closely because I have a friend who lives three blocks away. He was scouring the Internet all day for news so I helped him being the newspaper lover I am. Let’s see who pulled through the past two days.

Shocker of the week

The Valley News posts the first news of a double homicide with a small web post shortly past 1 p.m. on Wednesday.

(The Valley News will cover these stories on occasion and has the reporters to do so with Peter Surkowski, Tim O’Leary and Rocky Salmon) Salmon seemed to be on this one and I wonder how he heard about it. Somehow I don’t think the Valley News monitors scanners or keeps in constant contact with police.


The Cal wasn’t far behind with their own post with the same information less than an hour later.


The PE fired back with Tammy McCoy updates including comments and quotes from the field.


The following day stories between McCoy and John Hall were similar because the police were not talking. Hall did have color on a family member crying but I went over that already.


What happened Thursday afternoon?

The Valley News once again put up a new post and a new story that looked at the fear in the community.


The PE had one web update about investigators at the house. The Cal didn’t even bother with an update.


Then at about 5 p.m. the Valley news broke the first news in a bit, which was the name of the woman. And they also called her the victim’s wife.

I wonder if this means the PE and Cal have competition.


The Cal posted a new John Hall story at about 9 p.m. with the husband’s name and a ton of comments from a teenager named Jaime who didn’t want to give her name. His story read in similar fashion to the web story posted on the Valley News.


The PE had no updates but did have the most compelling new information in today’s paper which was written by McCoy and John Asbury. This one gives details as to why the Arson crew was there, the relationship between the two, an attempt to reach family members and an official saying neighbors could calm down because the killer was someone the victims knew.

After two days it was interesting, how these three papers fought it out and it was interesting that the Valley News was sticking its nose into the breaking news business. It also says something about the PE and the Cal that they were getting beat on web updates.

I bet the editors weren’t happy about that.


****UPDATE********

The PE and the Cal both had updates on the murders explaining an autopsy show they were shot in the head.

Both papers have not talked to family members and both have used anonymous sources to describe the Marine. No Nos in my book.

In fact the PE ran a photo. A photo that looks eerily similar to the MySpace page photo the guy has on his page (yes I once was a reporter so I do get curious and when I have free time will dig around—both Jan and Quiana had myspace pages).

Did the PE pull this off MySpace and call it a courtesy photo? If so that’s a big journalism no no.

Also briefly the Valley News faded from the scene which is understandable. Freelance reporters versus staff reporters will usually weigh in the favor of daily newspapers. I will now start to check the Valley News to see what they are doing. After all, it was Tim O’Leary who scooped the valley with his critical story on Council members tied to developers.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Good job today papers

Wow it was a great day for both southwest Riverside County papers.

Both Aaron’s had a story about the real reason why the Lake Elsinore City Clerk resigned…because she was indicted for stealing money at her former job.


Both papers covered the murder out in French Valley. Both seemed stymied by the lack of information from the police but John Hall might have went a little overboard with his description of a family member grieving.

Here is his description..which McCoy either did not witness or chose not to use:

As investigators and deputies milled around inside the crime scene Wednesday morning, a black Ford Expedition hurriedly pulled up on Date Palm Street and a man and woman got out.

After speaking briefly with an investigator, the woman became emotional and blurted out: "Lord no, don't tell me that! She's my only child!"

For several minutes, the woman frantically paced, only saying "no" over and over again.

She and the man again spoke with an investigator and then the woman screamed and pounded on the hood of the Expedition.

"She's all we've got!" the woman screamed. "Not my daughter. Not my daughter. Not my daughter."

A short time later, a sheriff's chaplain and members of the Trauma Intervention Program arrived to comfort the couple.

Is this good color or too much? I kind of believe it’s too much and doesn’t further the story. What do you think?


Zach Fox has been writing housing issues for the past year but nothing really in-depth or earth shattering. He gets a good one here as realtors blast the governments claim that all their bail outs are working. Not in San Diego or the IE.


Nelsy Rodriguez has been busy. I don’t know if that’s a great thing or not. She did a good job talking about a new shopping center groundbreaking and what it means financially to the area.

But she followed that up with a story on an acupuncture clinic Was she paid for this? I have read this story several times and see no reason for it.

Then you have another story about murals unveiled at Murrieta. For some reason it seems hard to me that there isn’t better news in town.


Over at the PE Jeff Horseman did a great job on the City Council allegations series. He does a story from the supporters angle. So many times reporters forget to get all sides in a story and he does here and it’s important. It shows his unbias or at least an attempt to be unbiased. Nicole sack hasn’t done this.

Here is Jeff’s story.


Doug Quan is priceless when he covers cops. Look at this lede:

Romance wasn't on the minds of the man and woman who stole 52 pairs of panties from the Victoria's Secret store at the Montclair Plaza this month.

Instead, authorities say the Baldwin Park pair belonged to one of the sophisticated shoplifting rings that have been targeting Victoria's Secret and other high-end stores throughout the Inland region.

I could care less about Montclair but I had to keep reading after that lede. Winner of the week award.


Michelle DeArmond shows the real reason why people are so heated in opposition of Obama – could it be about race? Check out this newsletter from a women’s Republic group: shameful. The woman has the nerve to say it’s not about race. What a crock. If she had the courage she would own up to it. The picture has a watermelon, KFC, Kool-Aid. Isn’t that all the stereotypes.

On to the actual story. Some people argue this story just stokes the message and is unnecessary. I think the story isn’t but the paper shouldn’t show a picture of the newsletter.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

No more restaurants

Congrats to Nelsy for writing about a closure of a restaurant in Murrieta. I thought this story would be a quick, shop is closed story. Nelsy actually used it to briefly take a look at strip malls in the city. Now my only concern here is that she wrote about this restaurant and not about any others because the city asked her to. While that’s at least the bias I see. I perhaps have a reason why Giovannis went out of business. It costs too much. I could go to any other Italian restaurant and get the same for three to four dollars cheaper. At least Nelsy is covering Murrieta. The story is here.

The Cal’s local section actually resembled a business section with Nelsy’s store closing store, Menifee’s Target opening and a story about a Fresh & Easy.

I have heard that Sarah Burge is the new Murrieta reporter and here is a story from her about the City Council candidates. If it is true that Burge is taking over for Murrieta I am happy and Nelsy should be scared.

Reporter Tip of the Day

Please, please do not start a story with LIKE. Now I know rules are made to be broken if written in the right way. But Mr. Aaron Burgin this is not it.

Like the US and its quest for foreign oil independence, local water agencies always look for ways to rely less heavily on drinking water imported from other sources.

Its wrong for so many reasons. Reason 1: Foreign oil independence will make many readers stop.

Reason 2: Like. Like what. What are you comparing here. You have a comparison but the comparison is in the second part.

Reason 3: This is what I call a college or high school lede. It’s easy to write this lede. That’s why you see it in high school and college papers.

It seems some of the most interesting stories from the southwest section of the PE is coming from Hope Pierson and her inside stories. This story was great and it didn’t start with Like.

I would review more stories but both papers have been struggling. At least they now have fires to keep their attention.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

hogbacks galore

Nelsy finally stepped away from covering feature stories to get at an issue story in the community. The housing development along the Hogbacks. I am still waiting for Nelsy’s story about the Warm Springs Townhomes. Where is my follow up?

Here is the dumbest story to date. Nicole Sack and Jeff Horseman already wrote that residents request the state FPPC look into campaign finance allegations. She writes a follow up here. This follow up is an example of A)someone not knowing how the process works or B)putting something in print just to get a byline. The FPPC always looks into these allegations. They have to. That’s their job. If I accused Tom Buckley of taking illegal bribes in the form of Elsinore Trout the FPPC would have to investigate.

Ohh I jumped the gun on Nicole Sack. Jeff Horseman did the same thing. I think this was an attempt by the papers to keep the story going. Tomorrow’s headline:

City Council Critics used paper to print out allegations.

I would write more about southwest Riverside County news from the PE but apparently they have totally forgotten about the area. If it wasn’t for Horseman you would think the southwest area voted to become an independent nation and the PE wasn’t going to cover it anymore.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tuesday Traffic

I think the Cal and the PE are cloning stories. They both have the same dancer story. The same Old Town Temecula story. Now it’s the same murder trial pimp story.

Let’s catch up on the past few days.

The CAL

A nice news analysis story by Aaron Claverie. I loved the topic and the person in the story, but I think it’s poorly written. The lede is cluttered and the more interesting bit is buried. The editor should have helped out. Too bad.

Nelsy Rodriguez wrote a story about Power Boxing. The story was needed as much as a story about toilet papering. I love the comments people wrote below this. Someone wrote it off as The Cal being The Cal. Here is the story.

The PE

So here is my rant for the day.

Where is my Murrieta reporter? It seems Julissa McKinnon is still kicking Perris around despite a rumor at City Hall that she was given the Murrieta/Wildomar beat.

I’m sorry to gripe but I have ties to Murrieta and Temecula and that is where I want most of my news. It seems to me that advertising dollars would be better in Murrieta and Temecula then Perris. So why am I getting this story? This is a problem across town.

At least McKinnon showed she could do some amazing stories if given time. This story scared the heebie jeebies out of me. I'm old so I hate taxes and this scares me.

On a side note, I saw former PE reporter Rocky Salmon has joined the PE exodus to the weekly Valley News. Weird that three former PE employees end up there, but it doesn’t seem like anything hard hitting.

Interesting illegal gun shipping story done by John Asbury over the weekend. The idea is a bit scary but after reading it it doesn’t shock me.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Wednesday fun

Am I missing something here? Did Rani Gupta and Michelle Klampe both completely drop the ball on this Antwone Fisher performance? Both focuses on Mr. Fisher speaking --- but I watched his movie, I know his story. Wouldn’t the right way to cover the event be to talk to students and teachers and find out how that ties into what Fisher is saying. At least Gupta’s was written in a more interesting manner.

PE's Version The Cal's

Clever way to write a lede for a story about a texting law by Doug Quan. It was an issue I was rolling my eyes about. Another one of the Press Enterprise trend stories but Quan wrote it in a fantastic manner and I couldn’t stop reading. OMFG

Does this Aaron Burgin guy have an editor? He continues to put out stories that are devoid of the actual public’s voice. This time it’s another important story about homebuilding. Seriously? Mr. Burgin is this why you got into journalism?

Here is one funny story from Rialto. Too bad the PE had to run something from the AP.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

SHAME ON YOU PE

Tammy McCoy and PE editors meet Mr. John Hall. Apparently he is the only one yesterday who decided to do actual journalism.



John Hall went above and beyond in reporting a murder in Temecula. He got family members and the apartment owner. A better job overall than the PE.


The political attacks begin. But reporters need to be very wary Mr. Claverie. Is this story more important that the budget crisis or the real issues in town? No. This is a red herring that someone spoonfed reporters to detract attention. It’s getting way too much ink.



NOW FOR ANGER

Tammy McCoy tried to bring readers up to date on the Pimp N Hoes case. It’s a good effort but I don’t think Ms. McCoy has mastered these yet. The real attention should be turned on the families and the affects caused. She has written previews of murder trials but it’s a basic template. Where are the family voices? Where is the emotional tug?


McCoy didn’t have a great day. She was too busy forced to cover two breaking news stories and her court story. Does her editor not realize that other reporters should be able to step in and work on huge news stories?

Her story on the Temecula murder was short and said the police have no motives or suspects. That’s fine. But no one from the paper even went out into the community to ask people about the murder. THE APARTMENT COMPLEX IS TWO MILES FROM THE OFFICE.


I hate to say it but did the PE, including the editor, not cover this murder because it involved a Mexican. Sure seems like it.

When has there ever been a murder in town and the paper didn’t even send someone out to get quotes or dig for the story. If this is the way the PE will cover crime and major events in the future I plan to cancel.

Nine whopping paragraphs. Ms. McCoy if the person killed was a woman in a domestic dispute or a white man walking the streets of Murrieta are we only going to give them nine paragraphs in the future? That’s the precedent this paper set and it’s disgusting.


This is the biggest news in the community besides the fire and the PE passes on it.

I will not place the blame on McCoy. It seems like the editors messed up big time.

Let’s look at the stories that should have chopped so a reporter could be sent to the scene of the crime:

Jeff Horseman wrote about adding $39,000 to an annexation study. Are you serious? What a shame. What a disservice to this community and a blow to the PE’s integrity.

Burgin wrote about a council meeting and a budget. Nothing new. Nothing he hasn’t reported on. Then again I have never seen Mr. Burgin tied to any breaking news case at this paper.


Something better change in this Temecula section because I know Paul LaRocco or John Asbury would be all over that apartment unit trying to get to the bottom of this murder and actually do some real reporting.

Cute story by Sarah Burge on someone stealing a daycare’s Peanut's Gang. Once again, couldn’t this hold for a murder?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sunday morning

Nelsy Rodriguez might be months late in this story about sewers in Murrieta but give her credit – at least she wrote about it and had a nice lede. The Sewer issue was done by the PE as centerpieces probably three times over the past two years. I know because I know people in the area who keep close tabs on this. Ms. Rodriguez got beat on this issue but she knew that it was worth a story so she sucked up her pride and wrote about it. Thank you.

Nice color and emotional funeral coverage of a US Coast Guard who died in a training exercise. The man was from San Bernardino and Mark Petix wrote beautifully. Good read Mr. Petix. Where was the PE by the way?

Sad story in the LA Times about the housing and economic woes affecting senior citizens.

How many times is the PE going to write about these massage parlors? You could even say these repetitive Jeff Horseman stories rub me the wrong way. I think this is the third or fourth in the past six months. That is a ridiculous amount of ink to give to something most could care less about. This better be the last massage story because let’s face it, there will be no happy ending.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Dreadful Thursdays

Great story from Mark Walker at the NC Times about a Marine who threw himself on a grenade to save his buddies losing out on a Medal of Honor. Those who are upset can read this and get further upset.

As for Nelsy Rodriguez, was it worth covering this park plans meeting. It was the last meeting in a number of meetings that she already covered. How many times will I read a story about someone saying, “I want a BMX park”, or, “More soccer fields”. What happened to hard hitting in-depth journalism or taking a more critical look at things. There is a better way to cover this master park’s plan. This is not It.

I have read these Aaron Claverie story and I just can’t grasp the importance. Something about a Redevelopment Agency asking for money from the City Council and the council agreeing in principal. I guess if you like conspiracies and these type of stories than you must be interested. I am not.

http://www.nctimes.com/articles/2008/09/17/news/californian/wildomar/zfcf3a393216c9764882574c8000f8194.txt

Finally, something did make me smile beside’s Mr. Walker’s story out of the Times. Nicole Sack came back with some of her old-fashioned gems. I could care less about a Temecula commission meeting but this lede grabbed me.

At times, Wednesday evening's Planning Commission meeting had the tone of a murder trial.
The tension, the passion, the graphics, the scenarios ---- the underlying current of life versus possible death ---- arose during the nearly four-hour long meeting.
And in the end there was at least one angry man.

Who cares if I didn’t get the point until later. I was hooked. Kudos to you Ms. Sack for entertaining me.

The PE must be smarting. They got scooped by the Times and are running their own follow up on the MetroLink engineer. The guy lived in Menifee and Crestline at one time. This is the type of the story the PE was great at. Nothing got by this paper and the reporters and you could bet if the Times had it the PE had it. When downsizing hits, papers lose what made it special. Here is the PE’s story but it’s a day late and a dollar

short.

Paul LaRocco was made for Cops Reporting. Here is the perfect lede to get me to read a story I normally would pass up:

The image of a menacing-looking man driving a dirty Ford Bronco toward a remote Yucaipa wash stuck with the witness.

It was February 2000, days before the bodies of a Los Angeles accountant and his wife were found buried in the same wash.

Nearly a decade later, the description is the first notable lead in a case that had turned cold.

The rest of the story is just as magical.

Aaron Burgin continues to write about the mundane aspects of Lake Elsinore. At least he tried to expand on an economy lecture by John Husing but city officials nor developers wanted to talk to Mr. Burgin.

Jeff Horseman gets my reporter tip for the day. Here is his lede on the Temecula Film Festival.

The next Steven Spielberg or Martin Scorsese might be in Temecula the next few days.

I doubt that. But it could happen. I could write: The next Willie Mays or Babe Ruth might be playing in Little League the next few days. Or. Aliens with thirteen eyes might be in Temecula the next few days. They might be. But I really doubt it.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Sept. 16 and 17

The Cal is scooping the PE left and right this week. Rani Gupta ran a story about criticism of the registrar’s election process. Finally, the PE had something in today’s paper. The PE seems to be scrambling and chasing other papers. Then again, that happens when a staffer leaves the paper and no one immediately steps in to cover that area.
Here is the PE’s follow
Here is the Cal’s story.

Rani Gupta has been running circles around the PE in education coverage. I’m sure it stems from Claudia Bustamante leaving but the PE is missing important stories. Here is one that Gupta has been following closely: the formation of a lacrosse team.

Murrieta is implementing a new economic development plan. Sure sounds like the same plan that has been in place for years.

Meanwhile, new Murrieta reporter Julissa McKinnon decided her first story would be about hotel taxes. Please don’t become the next Burgin Ms. McKinnon. This isn’t and wasn’t the most exciting thing happening at that meeting.

Jeff Horseman did a story on how much it will cost to protect our lovely hillsides.

Good community reporting on this little turf war going on in Menifee. Cathy Redfern does a good job of unearthing these gems.

Aaron Claverie and Aaron Burgin thought it was the perfect time to bore readers with their planning commission coverage of the general plan. There are better ways to cover a city and this is not the way.

Mr. Burgin also did a recap story previewing the week to come. He had a chance to use this piece for an analysis piece but it read like a quick, thrown together news story story.

At the UT Tanya Sierra wrote a story about the City Manager of Chula Vista getting canned for visiting Pam Anderson Web Sites. She puts it in context by stating the city spent a lot of money and time to hire this guy.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Sunday takes

The CAL didn’t have anything that stood out. Cathy Redfern did a nice little write up on a tractor museum but nothing worth linking to.

The PE

Rocky Salmon left the paper with a bang. His Sunday’s piece on Warnie Enochs will leave the community talking and was well-written despite being a confusing topic. Many in the community will question why this story came out now. Is it the liberal media attacking a politician? The real question is why it took so long to get this story out. Read it here.

The LA Times leapt into the Inland Empire with this really interesting story about a Moreno Valley man who has lost his house twice to foreclosure. Really good read but I still am wondering how he bought a $100,000 home and lost it. Did he take all the equity out? Here is the story

I try to read all the papers and sometimes it’s physically impossible. I do scan the most read on the sun site. Here is something by Wes Hughes I thought was good journalism. It’s a story on a dumped dog. Doesn’t sound too interesting does it? This story is though.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sunday QB Edition

The CAL
Nicole Sack did a half-hearted effort at the Temecula massage ordinance. Her story lacks a personal voice and even lacks Ms. Sack’s usual flair. Here is the link

Aaron Claverie continues his run of run-of-the-mill stories on Wildomar. It’s a new city – there has to be something more exciting than a story about the city hiring an insurance company. He doesn’t even tell me why I should care of what it means. If it doesn’t deserve a story then don’t write it.

Nelsy Rodriguez wrote about hotels, or lodging fees, or amenities. It was a doozy that I still can’t wrap my arms around. This story belongs with Claverie, in a heap of stories that must have been written to meet a story quota. There has to be more interesting things happening in these two cities. Here is the hotel story

The PE

Sandra Stokely wrote this scary story of a mother fighting a school district for allowing students to read “The Kite Runner”. If the mother doesn’t want her child to learn how to live in the real world and rationalize then she should be home schooling her. The fact the woman is trying to get her Master’s Degree in Education and she is fighting the use of this book is shocking. Wait. Wait. That degree is from Cal State Baptist. The photo by Bill Lewis is fantastic.
I love this story because it is a great talker. During my morning walk I griped about this woman with my wife. Someone overhead us and joined in.
If this woman is getting her Master’s and is such a concerned parent she should use this to talk about societal issues not play the blame game. Shame on you Kolb. Thanks Stokely for the talked read it here.


Menifee will incorporate on Oct. 1. So why write a party preview two weeks before? Space-filler. Read it here.

Claudia Bustamante left the paper with one last good read. A nice, up-lifting story about a new program at Temecula Unified. The lede is short, emotional and anecdotal:
Gabbi Pleasant had the brains but always ended up failing classes in eighth grade.
Enter the Delta Academy. The school-within-a-school at Temecula Valley High School is for select freshmen at risk of failing, not for lack of aptitude, but rather motivation.
"The only reason I didn't get held back is because I turned in extra-credit assignments," she said about eighth grade. Gabbi, 14, now a sophomore, finished her first year in high school with a 3.3 grade-point average.

This is what Education reporters should do. Bye Ms. Bustamante and thank you for stories like this.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Cal

A few days after scolding Jennifer Kabbany she redeems herself. Suicide is a touchy subject for all, especially newspapers. But this story is pegged to an actual event and brings the subject out to the front. The photo is typical and not deserving of this story.

Thanks Kabbany for proving my criticism of you wrong. Read it here.

Aaron Claverie had a nice story about a new trail going into Lake Elsinore. But someone needs to tell the reporters that longer is usually never better. This story is about five paragraphs too long.


The PE

Amanda Strindberg makes it on the list today with her story on animals getting wheelchairs. While it’s nothing new, you still can’t beat seeing pictures of dogs in wheelchairs motoring about. It put a smile on my face and apparently that’s hard to do.

Lake Elsinore quit making the valley look bad. This story made the news, radio and bogs across the world. The nerve of a thief stealing an Olympians shotgun while she shopped for wedding shoes at the Lake Elsinore Outlet. I bet the thief recently purchased something at Pottery Barn and saw this shotgun lying around and thought, “It would match my new armoire perfectly.”

I personally didn’t care for the lede by Tammy McCoy:

A two-time Olympic gold medalist is hoping for a small miracle.

The Perazzi 12-gauge shot gun Kimberly Rhode, 29, used in the past four Olympic games was stolen Thursday from her father's pickup truck at the outlet mall in Lake Elsinore.

"I'm just devastated. The gun is really (pause); it's priceless to me," she said by phone from a competition in Colorado Springs. "I need the gun back ... no questions asked."

The quote is fantastic but the lede left me wondering. Why a small miracle? Why was that the best phrase that Ms. McCoy could have used?

Jeff Horseman did an update on that Temecula waterpark and once again the lede left me bored.

Developers of a Temecula water park are looking into building their project at a location once seen as a higher education haven.

I’m tired of reading stories that start with developers, proponents – step outside the box and try something new. What about something as stupid as – Temecula’s attempts at a higher learning complex are about to get wet.


Seriously do people really still care about this beef recall in Chino? Did anyone care when it happened? Well, the PE still does and Julia Glick gives us the update. I will give the PE one thing – when the editors get their minds on a story they milk it for all its worth. Get it – cows, milk it.

This story was never a talker and the amount of print that was dedicated to it shocked me. Please stop. Besides PETA, no one cares.

Mr. Aaron Burgin continues to bore us with Lake Elsinore stories that no one cares about. Planning commissions, car wash developers, down size standards. It’s not why people get the paper Mr. Burgin. Spend more time in your community finding the interesting stories then at public meetings. In this latest one about planning standards being relaxed to allow smaller homes the point of the story isn’t made until the 7th graf. Here is the link if someone has minutes of their life to waste.



Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Tuesday and Wednesday

The Cal

I understand Murrieta reporter Rocky Salmon is heading to the Poconos after this week but that is not excuse for the editors to blow off the approval of a new hospital.

NC Times reporter Nelsy Rodriguez was there and got the scoop.

That story redeems her for Tuesday’s mistake. I glimpsed the Murrieta City Council agenda and saw an array of interesting options for stories. PE reporter Rocky Salmon did a quick take on new projects coming to town. Not a bad story because it is news.
Instead of writing about that or doing a bigger take on the hospital in Murrieta, Rodriguez did this feature on a glasses and hearing aid drive.

I have never been a Jennifer Kabbany fan. This stems from my problem with Kabbany once quoting “a person at a meeting” during a school district hearing on the high school’s new mascot. She didn’t name the person who was quoted. After asking some of the district officials I learned why. Kabbany was quoting John Hunneman who is a columnist at the Cal. Disturbing. Hunneman also serves on a Murrieta commission. This should not be happening people. Why doesn’t the PE do a story about this?
But I digress. The Cal finally came back at the Bobcats in the home story --- why? It’s too late and the lede is stale.
As officials work to scare away a family of bobcats that has taken a liking to the backyard of an abandoned home in the Tuscany Hills neighborhood, several residents said they aren't too worried ---- yet.
She kind of writes like me doesn’t she ---yet?
Here is the actual story.

I really missed Nicole Sack. I know, I know, Ms. Sack has been covering Temecula but she has tucked away her feisty and creative ledes that she used to write when she first started. She was back in form Tuesday with this story about the Temecula Children’s Museum getting some money to improve. I’m not saying this is the perfect lede but you can’t help but read it can’t you. It’s like a terrible car wreck – you want to look away but you can’t. Thank you Ms. Sack.

Part of the lore at the Temecula Children's Museum is that, among the three-dimensional and touchable exhibits, lives the illusive Professor Phineas T. Pennypickel.

The professor is so reclusive ---- not to mention fictional ---- that he can't do his own shopping. Luckily, he's got friends.

And those friends will receive $15,000 as the City Council agreed Tuesday to help spruce up the quirky museum.

Newspapers carry weight in this world because the good ones provide in-depth analysis and also emotional stories that can leave a grown man near tears. Teri Figueroa writes a gem.
The lede is poetic and perfect:
The body that made Scott Eveland a varsity linebacker a year ago now holds him captive. Much of the time, it will not respond.

It's through his eyes that he lives now. Eyes that serve as his primary means to communicate, to answer questions.

Three blinks means yes. No blinks, no.
Read this reporters to remember why you got into this business. Now go change the world.


The PE

Julissa McKinnon has been a busy reporter and the local section was plugged with her work. If this is what readers have to look forward to when the next week hits then it’s not too bad. McKinnon seems to do a good job balancing news stories and feature stories and mining the community for interesting bits, including her story on Perris using high schools kids from an alternative school. Nice little centerpiece to pass my time while munching my Frosted Flakes.

Tammy McCoy is good about getting the minutae correct in her stories. But her short story on a Perris mother sentenced in the death of her kid left me with the simple question: What type of injury did the child have that the parents ignored?

Laurie Lucas had an interesting story about one of LBJ’s descendants buried in a Riverside graveyard. Not earth shattering because many people could give a grape’s raisin about LBJ but it makes a cute read. The lede is too convoluted though. “Unbeknownst” is not a great word to start any story off with.

John Asbury must be racing with McKinnon and LaRocco for hardest working reporter. He digs up a horrifying tale of a body found in concrete. Good details and interesting read.

Reporter Tip of the Day
Stop using “But” at the top. Quit taking readers one way then flipping them another. Sometimes it works, as with Doug Quan’s outrageously funny story on $35 a ticket movie theaters.
But Alicia Robinson uses but in the first sentence and I shut down. I couldn’t keep reading.
Norco could build a plant to turn its horse manure into energy, but the city might have to scramble to meet a federal deadline for an energy loan program, according to preliminary results of a study.
Speaking of Ms. Robinson but what does it say about society when one of the most popular stories is that stupid deal with the two dogs. And Ms. Robinson’s follow up doesn’t help much. Just read the lede and tell me what you think because when I started reading the story it was “In the trash at first graf.”
It was love at first lick when shelter dogs Yogi and Boo Boo met their new family, Riverside couple Sandy and Keanon Alderson.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Weekend Wrap Up

The Cal

The School News CP was terrible editing. The first graf doesn’t even make sense and it’s on the school news section. Shouldn’t the grammar be right? Wait, my grammar is terrible too. But I’m not a newspaper with copy editors.
LAKE ELSINORE ---- Annette Tarnowski's path to becoming the Lake Elsinore High School band director was fueled by her passion for music and the desire to help inspire that same passion in young people.

Despite what my comments may say, I do appreciate the work of Ms. Rani Gupta. I do think, she needs a firmer editing hand to tighten up her stories. Here is her lede on busing issues:
Last year, Forrest Allen had an uneventful 25-minute bus ride to school. Now, the seventh-grader navigates narrow roads and dodges reckless drivers on his daily bike ride to Menifee Valley Middle School.

"Half the time, people try to hit us," said Forrest, 13, who bikes to school with his friend, Ryan Vasquez.

Part of his route to school has only a narrow paved shoulder, with no sidewalk to separate the boys from motorists.Forrest said teenage drivers will step on the gas, pelting him with rocks, or cross lanes to try to scare him.

"People speed up and they go in the wrong lane and go at us," he said. "They just try to make us go off the road."

Here is the actual reason for the story – six grafs down: Forrest and Ryan are two of hundreds of Southwest County students who lost transportation this year as some school districts eliminated some bus service by increasing the distance around schools within which students must walk or find their own transportation.

I don’t mind anecdotal ledes. In fact, they work well if done right, which means they better be tight and to the point. This story isn’t about people trying to run Forrest down. If it was that lede might work. No this story is about bus service being eliminated.
Ms. Gupta has led us down a dusty trail to a different story then flipped it on us at the last second.

Ms. Gupta redeemed herself with this story about the school district talking about selling bonds to pay for retiree benefits. It’s not earth shattering writing but it’s the perfect writing for this story that brings important information to readers.

Can someone tell me why this belongs on A-1?

Lastly, it’s not all bad. Mr. Dave Downey did a great story on the terrible week that was for SDG&E. As a one-time customer they deserve every come-uppance that heads their way.

The UT
Thanks Mr. Mike Lee for this interesting story on bisons at Camp Pendleton. Who would have thunk it? Certainly not me. Something about bombs, training, gun fire and furry wooly beasts made Sunday breakfast a little easier.
http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20080907/news_1n7bison.html

The PE
Good story about how cargo affects the Inland area by a slew of reporters. Did it deserve to be such a big project with so much type dedicated to it? Nope. Too long and the graphics of what is in my house isn’t needed.
Also a tip for the PE –- we don’t care about Riverside in Temecula Valley. We have a ton of truck traffic coming up from San Diego and Mexico. Shouldn’t our version focus on that? Tell your transportation reporters to take a glimpse south because I think we have a lot of advertising dollars in our area and most of us are San Diego-lites not Riverside lovers. We don’t spend our weekends in Riverside. We don’t drive up there for festivals. We go to San Diego.

Mr Begley was a busy man. He also wrote about vacationers staying closer to home for the summer. Um, Mr. Begley and editors who pitched this tripe: the summer is almost over and quit writing non-trend stories.
What’s next a trend story on the rise in popularity of people driving green colored cars on Mondays?

Reporter Michelle Klampe had another trend story about teachers using high-tech devices. Not only has that story been done by every media outlet in America, the PE did that same story less than a year ago. How hard is it for reporters to check the paper library to see if the story has been done?

Mr. Sean Nealon did a tubers story. It was much better than the tuber Olympics in the Cal a week ago, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. How is that for some bad writing? Why do I need two large grafs of color when the third graf is the lede:
A truck loaded with 50,000 pounds of Chieftain potatoes coated in dirt from an Anza field arrives at the San Jacinto packing shed. Immediately, the red potatoes get a bath and, dripping, ride a conveyer belt inside.
Several dozen workers pick out dried grass and discard misshapen and rotten potatoes. Machines sort the potatoes by size and drop them into 50-pound boxes.
A year ago, Agri-Empire, a 63-year-old company in San Jacinto that farms 4,000 acres of potatoes in Southern California, sold those boxes for $20. Today, it is getting twice that.
That’s called being too cutesy and an editor should have caught that.

When I opened the local section I thought Mr. Aaron Burgin had done the story of weekend. The photo by Kurt Miller was classic with a lady straddling a small flood ditch and looming apartments in the background.
Then I started reading the story:
Lake Elsinore's failure to completely address runoff issues plaguing neighbors on a street in an unincorporated pocket could spoil its plans to annex the land.
I would have went with color or a story from one of the people in the neighborhood about the run off. This lede fails the photo and fails the story. It’s boring and it could be used for anything. It’s a template lede.
“Hollywood’s failure to completely address spiderman shooting webs on a street in town could spoil its plans to create Spider Land.”

Kudos to Jeff Horseman for doing a short overview on hospital construction in the area. I think the story needed people who would be affected because that would have brought the story home. At least it was a good idea.